Sometimes we get so used to the serious nature of our lives that we forget to lighten up and just relax our attitude. I do this as much as the next person and according to some in my life I do it WAY too often! It isn’t as if only one person is telling me this. This is something I have heard many times, repeatedly, it’s just that I really don’t even know all the steps to make it different.

I have an awareness and I firmly believe that AWARENESS is the first key. I make a daily effort to meditate and that seems to really keep me in a calm state of mind, MOST OF THE TIME…life is not a perfect science, events and stress intervene for all of us. Meditation has done wonders for me, it allows me a sense of real peace, where I can feel a physical difference in the energy of my body. I used to be pretty high strung years ago and meditation mellowed that very well. So there is hope that I can find other ways to lighten up my serious nature….

The really funny part is that I used to be very light hearted, spontaneous and carefree… say until around age 33. Some time around then life hit me with some real challenges, the end of a deeply significant relationship, my mother getting cancer in 1997 and from there my life seemed to take on a direction of it’s own, filled with pain and loss and deep, unending grief. Just about the time I felt I was turning the corner on my grief over my mother and really living again (six yrs time) my dad was diagnosed with non hogkins lymphoma and died 12 days later.

Those events and the circumstance and responsibilities I was forced to assume after my dad’s death changed me deeply. So finding that fun loving, carefree side of myself comes generally only with travel adventures or escapes where I feel I can be my most relaxed. Learning to integrate it in daily life is more challenging for me these days…. at least according to those around me. I try to keep an awareness and also a reality check that those around me don’t always understand what I have faced or the effect it had on me, so I as I learn to lighten up a day at a time I keep my own council, knowing I know who I am and why I’m this way.

I’m learning to make changes a step at a time, from a place with a healed heart. That alone is a blessing and one not to be undervalued. My life wasn’t always good, in fact at some points the pain was so bad and the grief so numbing that death felt like the easier option. To reach this point, of joy and healing and blessings is incredible. It happened with small, slow steps, so gradually at times that I couldn’t even see some of the healing taking place. Only realizing it as my heart began to lift and my spirit began to heal and feel alive again. It is amazing and beautiful to have reached this point. I am deeply grateful to be at this point where I am now capable of helping others.

As such I try to keep a grateful attitude for the people and activities in my life while learning a step at a time to lighten up and see the world in a more spontaneous fashion. It’s a process…one day at a time… just like life. Blessings and love to each of you!

Advertisements

linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of great joy and moments when we need the quiet loving support of those who know us best. Today is one of those days when I needed the loving and warm support of my family and spirit brought it to me in a small but clear way. Since last night I’ve been feeling longing for my parents, for their warmth, their clear knowing of me and who I am and what I’m about. So much doesn’t even need words with the people who have known you your whole life, or a good share of your life. I lack that most of the time in my life. Most of the people I’ve known my entire life either live in another place far from me or have passed on into spirit so at times I long for the comfort of the ones that know me best and love me despite my many flaws.

As I was doing things around the house this morning, thinking of my parents and missing them I pulled a container from the cabinet and on top of it was a coaster; The coaster was embossed with Jane and this saying,

From the Hebrew “God is gracious,” She is gentle and loving, kind and caring; always there when you need her. a friend you can turn to.

Jane is the name of my mother who has passed into spirit. So on this day when I needed her so much she showed me yet again, in a clear way that she is always watching over me, always loving me, guiding me from the other side. I love you mom and I’m grateful for your love and support from spirit. I have much to learn and I know you are helping me and smiling down on me. I miss you.

Photo Credit: Flickr Linn Marr

11-10-2007-04.jpgA picture of one of my favorite places in Germany. The island of Hiddensee where I was fortunate to spend a couple lovely weekends. Everything happens in divine right order.

Everyone knows that selling a house today is a situation that requires a great deal of time, energy and patience. I feel really blessed that I have had approximately eight showings in the last two and a half weeks, but what I really want is my house to be sold. So like everyone I face that eternal challenge to go with the flow and trust that everything is in DRO; Divine Right Order and that my house will sell just as it should, to the family that is most suited to my house. Waiting is a challenge, but like finding a new job, or moving to a new continent….something I have done several times over it always falls into place at the exact right moment and you experience that light bulb moment of “ah, this is why I needed to wait.”

I remember some years ago when I was searching for an international job and I lost out on one in Dresden, Germany because their email didn’t reach me in Hawaii before I headed to the job fair in Houston. I remember standing by the Dresden line saying to myself, maybe I should request an interview with this school. But, something held me back and I didn’t get in their line, didn’t interview and then flew back to Hawaii finding that they had in fact been interested in me. I was crushed and disappointed.

Fast forward another eight months I now had two job offers, one in Indonesia and one in Berlin, Germany. I opted for the Berlin, Germany post. Taking that job changed my life and deepened my love of travel and expat life. If I had taken the Dresden job I would have never met the special man who shared my life in Berlin. Everything happens for a reason, DIVINE RIGHT ORDER I remind myself today as I wait for my house to sell. Blessing and love to each of you!

Photo Credit: Lisa Overman

linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of deep joy. Sometimes though we become frightened and step back, afraid to embrace the depth of our joy. Sometimes through taking the plunge and embracing and feeling all the joy our heart holds brings us a deeper connection with those in our life. Other times our life challenges us bringing pain and those moments are harder to understand. When they come I try to move through them cautiously with the realization that God is watching over my life and that he will support me when I don’t feel supported, so that my heart will begin to feel joyful again.

There is so much good (great actually) in my life. I try to write in “The Secret” Gratitude Journal each day and what I find is that writing in it reminds me more fully of all I have to be grateful for. I have so much joy in my life. Along with that I have a sense of deep purpose in my work and writing and what I will do with the rest of my life. I know that I’m here on this earth to help people heal and knowing that brings me great joy.

Today I encourage each of you to find joyful moments in your own life. Maybe it’s taking a walk with your dog, maybe it’s going for a beach walk, sitting in a dark theatre laughing at a good movie, maybe it’s giving someone you treasure a massage or making a special meal together. Whatever it is in your life that makes your heart sing make time to do it. Embrace your joy; live and create even more joy with a grateful attitude.

Photo Credit Flickr LinnMar

473303144_ecc3bf6b4f_m.jpgI haven’t written much lately on my blog and I apologize for those of you who follow it and gleen support and encouragement toward your own healing. A few weeks ago I met the most wonderful man and between moving houses which had begun before I met him and dating, my life has been on fast forward filled with absolute joy and fun. It is truly amazing how life unfolds and the absolute synchronicity of how things fall into place just as they should.

I cannot imagine dreaming up a more incredible man than God has brought into my life. His presence in my life is truly a gift. He makes me laugh, brings so much joy to my days and shares such a depth of himself that it is truly beautiful to know him. I love that he has so much integrity, and is so straightforward in his actions and life. Being with him brings me the greatest joy and experiencing the depth of his honesty and emotion allows me to open further to him and allow him to see me and my life more intimately and fully. After some of my past experiences knowing I can trust him feels beautiful for me; I know there is more of me he would like to understand and I am grateful that in that respect he is patient and allows me to open my life and history to him as I feel ready.

I feel blessed and grateful each day. His kindness and love for his family and kids touch me and make me smile. I feel strongly that you can see so much about a man by the way he treats his children and his mother. In that respect and so many others he exceeds what I could ever imagine in a man. His committment to his children and his family is beautiful and makes me appreciate him that much more. The fact that he is sexy, warm and passionate is a further gift to treasure. Thank you Rob for being part of my life. xoxo

Photo credit: Flickr Starlisa

perseverandoequineaffection.jpgThere are so many things that demand our attention and time every single day but something I’ve learned through my many losses is to take time to appreciate the small moments, the heart felt pleasures that come into our days and nights. I had a sweet moment of reflection last night when the man I’m dating simply touched and held my hand. It was the softest, simpliest touch but it meant so very much to me. Tonight when we talked I shared what that meant to me. Many times we forget to appreciate the small things that touch our hearts and our lives. On this day, with this man I wanted him to know what his touch meant to me. May each of you find a sweet moment in your day that you treasure; may it open your heart allowing you to share what the moment meant to you, someone in your life will be appreciative.

Photo credit: Flickr photo by: Perseverando

dec-jan-06-007.jpg
Pass a Grille Beach, St Petersburg, FL

I find when I’m uncertain or stressed that being in nature is the best solution for me. Spending time breathing fresh air, feeling sunshine on my face and just chilling bring me back to my center; where I need to be. Time after time I more fully understand that nature is my haven from the every day challenges that life offers. In nature I observe the natural flow of things, trees move softly in the breeze and birds swoop in upward flight with the drafts, sometimes flapping their wings and other times simply gliding. The waves flow in sets into the beach and through it all there is no struggle, it happens smoothy as nature intended, each flower, branch or bird in a calm pattern of beauty. It’s a beautiful reminder of what life can be when we let go of expectations and struggling to make everything as we’d like it. Simply find a peaceful spot and breathe deep; and recognize that life flows on around us, no matter what we do. We can choose to fight it or we can choose to flow with it. May you have a blessed day.