Sometimes we get so used to the serious nature of our lives that we forget to lighten up and just relax our attitude. I do this as much as the next person and according to some in my life I do it WAY too often! It isn’t as if only one person is telling me this. This is something I have heard many times, repeatedly, it’s just that I really don’t even know all the steps to make it different.

I have an awareness and I firmly believe that AWARENESS is the first key. I make a daily effort to meditate and that seems to really keep me in a calm state of mind, MOST OF THE TIME…life is not a perfect science, events and stress intervene for all of us. Meditation has done wonders for me, it allows me a sense of real peace, where I can feel a physical difference in the energy of my body. I used to be pretty high strung years ago and meditation mellowed that very well. So there is hope that I can find other ways to lighten up my serious nature….

The really funny part is that I used to be very light hearted, spontaneous and carefree… say until around age 33. Some time around then life hit me with some real challenges, the end of a deeply significant relationship, my mother getting cancer in 1997 and from there my life seemed to take on a direction of it’s own, filled with pain and loss and deep, unending grief. Just about the time I felt I was turning the corner on my grief over my mother and really living again (six yrs time) my dad was diagnosed with non hogkins lymphoma and died 12 days later.

Those events and the circumstance and responsibilities I was forced to assume after my dad’s death changed me deeply. So finding that fun loving, carefree side of myself comes generally only with travel adventures or escapes where I feel I can be my most relaxed. Learning to integrate it in daily life is more challenging for me these days…. at least according to those around me. I try to keep an awareness and also a reality check that those around me don’t always understand what I have faced or the effect it had on me, so I as I learn to lighten up a day at a time I keep my own council, knowing I know who I am and why I’m this way.

I’m learning to make changes a step at a time, from a place with a healed heart. That alone is a blessing and one not to be undervalued. My life wasn’t always good, in fact at some points the pain was so bad and the grief so numbing that death felt like the easier option. To reach this point, of joy and healing and blessings is incredible. It happened with small, slow steps, so gradually at times that I couldn’t even see some of the healing taking place. Only realizing it as my heart began to lift and my spirit began to heal and feel alive again. It is amazing and beautiful to have reached this point. I am deeply grateful to be at this point where I am now capable of helping others.

As such I try to keep a grateful attitude for the people and activities in my life while learning a step at a time to lighten up and see the world in a more spontaneous fashion. It’s a process…one day at a time… just like life. Blessings and love to each of you!


Click on the photo to enlarge
Our group while living on Guam.

This weekend is our annual Guam reunion. This get together started with our desire to continue reconnecting and maintaining our friendships. We are a group who worked together on the island of Guam in the early nineties. We are meeting for a weekend of catching up and sharing memories. We are meeting in Minneapolis at one of our friends home. It makes for a fun weekend of laughter, memories and catching up with each other’s lives after a year apart. It’s a wonderful way to share our lives and have a great break from every day life.

A day of celebration earlier this year with my great grandmother and grandmother.

Today, Saturday June 23rd is my Great Grandmother, Mary Breiner’s one hundred and first birthday! It is truly amazing to see her reach such an age. I thought it was astonishing last year when we had a huge celebration for her 100th birthday! This year was much more subdued, she spent the day with my grandmother playing yahtzee and visiting and then spent the evening with my grandmother and cousin John for a nice meal out. Being in another part of the country meant I couldn’t be there to share her day this yr. Thankfully I was there last yr and for several other of her special days as well. I spoke to her on the phone today, as I do many times when she visits my grandmother’s and she was doing well.

We talked about my water safety class, how she was feeling, the fact that she has lived 101 years, and just about our family and life in general. She is quite a talker, and though she does repeat her self and forget things you tell her, she is interested, and she can remember details and stories and beautiful things from her life time and mine. It is always a little piece of history and joy to speak with her and see her. Happy Birthday Grandma and much love to you. I wish often that you could share in more detail the history and stories of your life. You have experienced and seen so many changes in society and in history in your one hundred and one years. It is a piece of history and a gift to love you. Happy Birthday!