linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of great joy and moments when we need the quiet loving support of those who know us best. Today is one of those days when I needed the loving and warm support of my family and spirit brought it to me in a small but clear way. Since last night I’ve been feeling longing for my parents, for their warmth, their clear knowing of me and who I am and what I’m about. So much doesn’t even need words with the people who have known you your whole life, or a good share of your life. I lack that most of the time in my life. Most of the people I’ve known my entire life either live in another place far from me or have passed on into spirit so at times I long for the comfort of the ones that know me best and love me despite my many flaws.

As I was doing things around the house this morning, thinking of my parents and missing them I pulled a container from the cabinet and on top of it was a coaster; The coaster was embossed with Jane and this saying,

From the Hebrew “God is gracious,” She is gentle and loving, kind and caring; always there when you need her. a friend you can turn to.

Jane is the name of my mother who has passed into spirit. So on this day when I needed her so much she showed me yet again, in a clear way that she is always watching over me, always loving me, guiding me from the other side. I love you mom and I’m grateful for your love and support from spirit. I have much to learn and I know you are helping me and smiling down on me. I miss you.

Photo Credit: Flickr Linn Marr

11-10-2007-04.jpgA picture of one of my favorite places in Germany. The island of Hiddensee where I was fortunate to spend a couple lovely weekends. Everything happens in divine right order.

Everyone knows that selling a house today is a situation that requires a great deal of time, energy and patience. I feel really blessed that I have had approximately eight showings in the last two and a half weeks, but what I really want is my house to be sold. So like everyone I face that eternal challenge to go with the flow and trust that everything is in DRO; Divine Right Order and that my house will sell just as it should, to the family that is most suited to my house. Waiting is a challenge, but like finding a new job, or moving to a new continent….something I have done several times over it always falls into place at the exact right moment and you experience that light bulb moment of “ah, this is why I needed to wait.”

I remember some years ago when I was searching for an international job and I lost out on one in Dresden, Germany because their email didn’t reach me in Hawaii before I headed to the job fair in Houston. I remember standing by the Dresden line saying to myself, maybe I should request an interview with this school. But, something held me back and I didn’t get in their line, didn’t interview and then flew back to Hawaii finding that they had in fact been interested in me. I was crushed and disappointed.

Fast forward another eight months I now had two job offers, one in Indonesia and one in Berlin, Germany. I opted for the Berlin, Germany post. Taking that job changed my life and deepened my love of travel and expat life. If I had taken the Dresden job I would have never met the special man who shared my life in Berlin. Everything happens for a reason, DIVINE RIGHT ORDER I remind myself today as I wait for my house to sell. Blessing and love to each of you!

Photo Credit: Lisa Overman

linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of deep joy. Sometimes though we become frightened and step back, afraid to embrace the depth of our joy. Sometimes through taking the plunge and embracing and feeling all the joy our heart holds brings us a deeper connection with those in our life. Other times our life challenges us bringing pain and those moments are harder to understand. When they come I try to move through them cautiously with the realization that God is watching over my life and that he will support me when I don’t feel supported, so that my heart will begin to feel joyful again.

There is so much good (great actually) in my life. I try to write in “The Secret” Gratitude Journal each day and what I find is that writing in it reminds me more fully of all I have to be grateful for. I have so much joy in my life. Along with that I have a sense of deep purpose in my work and writing and what I will do with the rest of my life. I know that I’m here on this earth to help people heal and knowing that brings me great joy.

Today I encourage each of you to find joyful moments in your own life. Maybe it’s taking a walk with your dog, maybe it’s going for a beach walk, sitting in a dark theatre laughing at a good movie, maybe it’s giving someone you treasure a massage or making a special meal together. Whatever it is in your life that makes your heart sing make time to do it. Embrace your joy; live and create even more joy with a grateful attitude.

Photo Credit Flickr LinnMar

Today as I sit here contemplating my life, I seriously feel like hopping a plane to a far away island and never looking back. I am so sick of the bullshit. I have far too many responsiblities, too many open ended situations with almost no answers for any of them. On top of this I’ve had the flu for a week, and am still dealing with the remaining cough and feelings of exhaustion. The week prior to that I was racing around preparing for my grandma’s 81rst birthday. Happy Birthday Grandma! 81 is pretty amazing! The two weeks before that found me waiting for test results to see if I had cancer. I do not. I am beyond grateful.

Today I’ve had enough of the bullshit. I am tired of being responsible for so many situations. I’m equally tired of waiting for the ellusive answers I need on more fronts than I care to think about. There are questions, so many questions, more concerns, and some very real wall scaling challenges in my life. Today I feel like packing it in, heading for the airport and saying that’s it. I’m done; I want off this freaking carnival ride.

If you read my last post, you know that the last couple weeks I have faced some seriously scary health moments. During the time I was waiting to have my biopsy (which later became an MRI and ultra sound ) I went to see The Bucket List with two girl friends; neither of which knew I was waiting to learn if I had cancer or not. Maybe not the smartest movie to see while waiting for test results but I truly wanted to see the movie. The movie is fantastic, emotional and hilarious. There were scenes that made me cry and scenes that were laugh out loud funny.

The movie reminded me of what my parents went through with each of their diagnosis and in that respect the movie was sobering and sad. Yet it was also life affirming; these men were striving to make the most of the time that remained and they did some amazing and beautiful things. They did things they’d dreamed of doing, but had never found the opportunity or money to do. As I waited for my own tests I had a lot of time to think about my life and what I’ve accomplished, and what I still want to do. Gratefully my test results showed me to be completely healthy and I am feeling blessed. Yet while I waited to hear I thought about what would be on my own list.

My current bucket list
Tahiti – French Polynesia visit at least two islands, maybe three.
Publish my book on healing grief and relationships.
Alaska – Take my grandmother on an Alaskan Cruise and go dog sledding.
Return to the Hawaiian islands and buy a condo.
Marry a passionate, loving man who loves me, our families, animals, God and understands my journey.
Consider adopting a little girl.
Treasure my family and friends.
Greece – visit the greek islands with my future husband.
Italy – See more of the county I fell in love with.
Russia – Visit the historical domed church in Moscow, and see the country.
Croatia – Visit the former family homeland of someone I’ve loved.
Return to Micronesia and visit Ponape again and see Palau, which I missed the first time.
Canada – Visit the french portion of the country.
Go back to the UP of Michigan where I camped as a child with my grand parents.
Caribbean – travel through some of the caribbean islands
Learn to dance.
Take a painting class.
Go to as many Yankee games as possible.

What’s on your bucket list?

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“Leaving Microsoft to Change the World
an Entrepreneur’s Odyssey to Educate the World’s Children.”

IT IS STUNNING…EVERYONE SHOULD BE READING THIS BOOK. It is touching, inspiring and a real heads up as to what one person can create with enough passion, determination and belief. John Wood’s charity, Room To Read is creating schools, libraries, computer centers and scholarships for girls education in poverty stricken areas of the world.

I bought the book last night and I can’t put it down. I read until midnight and then started again at breakfast this morning. I’ve now read 200 pages and can barely contain my excitement at what he and his charity organization are doing to improve the lives of children all over the world who are living in poverty. These children previously had no suitable books available and little opportunity for an education. I made a donation today and I challenge my friends and the readers of my blog to do the same. Check out his website which is listed in my blog roll to the right under charity and education.

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Today I discovered the most amazing thing, Bob and Melinda Blanchard, who wrote “A Trip to the Beach” and “Live What You Love, notes from an unusual life.” have a website devoted to inspiring and sharing examples of how others have followed their path of doing what they love to change their lives!

The website is http://www.livewhatyoulove.com Look to the right on my blog roll of great websites and you will find a link. I’m impresed with the continual inspiration their lives offer each of us in a search to create what we love in our own lives. Read their books and check out the website!