Creating The Life You Desire


Sometimes we get so used to the serious nature of our lives that we forget to lighten up and just relax our attitude. I do this as much as the next person and according to some in my life I do it WAY too often! It isn’t as if only one person is telling me this. This is something I have heard many times, repeatedly, it’s just that I really don’t even know all the steps to make it different.

I have an awareness and I firmly believe that AWARENESS is the first key. I make a daily effort to meditate and that seems to really keep me in a calm state of mind, MOST OF THE TIME…life is not a perfect science, events and stress intervene for all of us. Meditation has done wonders for me, it allows me a sense of real peace, where I can feel a physical difference in the energy of my body. I used to be pretty high strung years ago and meditation mellowed that very well. So there is hope that I can find other ways to lighten up my serious nature….

The really funny part is that I used to be very light hearted, spontaneous and carefree… say until around age 33. Some time around then life hit me with some real challenges, the end of a deeply significant relationship, my mother getting cancer in 1997 and from there my life seemed to take on a direction of it’s own, filled with pain and loss and deep, unending grief. Just about the time I felt I was turning the corner on my grief over my mother and really living again (six yrs time) my dad was diagnosed with non hogkins lymphoma and died 12 days later.

Those events and the circumstance and responsibilities I was forced to assume after my dad’s death changed me deeply. So finding that fun loving, carefree side of myself comes generally only with travel adventures or escapes where I feel I can be my most relaxed. Learning to integrate it in daily life is more challenging for me these days…. at least according to those around me. I try to keep an awareness and also a reality check that those around me don’t always understand what I have faced or the effect it had on me, so I as I learn to lighten up a day at a time I keep my own council, knowing I know who I am and why I’m this way.

I’m learning to make changes a step at a time, from a place with a healed heart. That alone is a blessing and one not to be undervalued. My life wasn’t always good, in fact at some points the pain was so bad and the grief so numbing that death felt like the easier option. To reach this point, of joy and healing and blessings is incredible. It happened with small, slow steps, so gradually at times that I couldn’t even see some of the healing taking place. Only realizing it as my heart began to lift and my spirit began to heal and feel alive again. It is amazing and beautiful to have reached this point. I am deeply grateful to be at this point where I am now capable of helping others.

As such I try to keep a grateful attitude for the people and activities in my life while learning a step at a time to lighten up and see the world in a more spontaneous fashion. It’s a process…one day at a time… just like life. Blessings and love to each of you!

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Indian Shores Beach at Sunset

There is nothing like getting to know someone new in your life to make you realize you have a lot to learn. Today seems to be a classic example of that and I have to smile and just take a deep breath and realize it’s all part of the process. No matter who we are or what we are doing that is new in our life there is always a learning curve or challenges to face and moments that seem like a monumental pain in the ass, but eventually those moment that seemed such a pain become a simple blip on the screen of our life and we find a way to meet in the middle, to embrace our new skills or learn how to explain our needs more clearly. It’s all a process and in the spirit of that process tonight I watched an episode of Men In Tree’s online and really had a good laugh as Marin and Jack moved in together and faced their own moments. It was good to see it happens to each of us. May you have a blessed day!

Photo Credit Lisa Overman

linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of great joy and moments when we need the quiet loving support of those who know us best. Today is one of those days when I needed the loving and warm support of my family and spirit brought it to me in a small but clear way. Since last night I’ve been feeling longing for my parents, for their warmth, their clear knowing of me and who I am and what I’m about. So much doesn’t even need words with the people who have known you your whole life, or a good share of your life. I lack that most of the time in my life. Most of the people I’ve known my entire life either live in another place far from me or have passed on into spirit so at times I long for the comfort of the ones that know me best and love me despite my many flaws.

As I was doing things around the house this morning, thinking of my parents and missing them I pulled a container from the cabinet and on top of it was a coaster; The coaster was embossed with Jane and this saying,

From the Hebrew “God is gracious,” She is gentle and loving, kind and caring; always there when you need her. a friend you can turn to.

Jane is the name of my mother who has passed into spirit. So on this day when I needed her so much she showed me yet again, in a clear way that she is always watching over me, always loving me, guiding me from the other side. I love you mom and I’m grateful for your love and support from spirit. I have much to learn and I know you are helping me and smiling down on me. I miss you.

Photo Credit: Flickr Linn Marr

11-10-2007-04.jpgA picture of one of my favorite places in Germany. The island of Hiddensee where I was fortunate to spend a couple lovely weekends. Everything happens in divine right order.

Everyone knows that selling a house today is a situation that requires a great deal of time, energy and patience. I feel really blessed that I have had approximately eight showings in the last two and a half weeks, but what I really want is my house to be sold. So like everyone I face that eternal challenge to go with the flow and trust that everything is in DRO; Divine Right Order and that my house will sell just as it should, to the family that is most suited to my house. Waiting is a challenge, but like finding a new job, or moving to a new continent….something I have done several times over it always falls into place at the exact right moment and you experience that light bulb moment of “ah, this is why I needed to wait.”

I remember some years ago when I was searching for an international job and I lost out on one in Dresden, Germany because their email didn’t reach me in Hawaii before I headed to the job fair in Houston. I remember standing by the Dresden line saying to myself, maybe I should request an interview with this school. But, something held me back and I didn’t get in their line, didn’t interview and then flew back to Hawaii finding that they had in fact been interested in me. I was crushed and disappointed.

Fast forward another eight months I now had two job offers, one in Indonesia and one in Berlin, Germany. I opted for the Berlin, Germany post. Taking that job changed my life and deepened my love of travel and expat life. If I had taken the Dresden job I would have never met the special man who shared my life in Berlin. Everything happens for a reason, DIVINE RIGHT ORDER I remind myself today as I wait for my house to sell. Blessing and love to each of you!

Photo Credit: Lisa Overman

linnmarrhappysunflower.jpgLife is filled with moments of deep joy. Sometimes though we become frightened and step back, afraid to embrace the depth of our joy. Sometimes through taking the plunge and embracing and feeling all the joy our heart holds brings us a deeper connection with those in our life. Other times our life challenges us bringing pain and those moments are harder to understand. When they come I try to move through them cautiously with the realization that God is watching over my life and that he will support me when I don’t feel supported, so that my heart will begin to feel joyful again.

There is so much good (great actually) in my life. I try to write in “The Secret” Gratitude Journal each day and what I find is that writing in it reminds me more fully of all I have to be grateful for. I have so much joy in my life. Along with that I have a sense of deep purpose in my work and writing and what I will do with the rest of my life. I know that I’m here on this earth to help people heal and knowing that brings me great joy.

Today I encourage each of you to find joyful moments in your own life. Maybe it’s taking a walk with your dog, maybe it’s going for a beach walk, sitting in a dark theatre laughing at a good movie, maybe it’s giving someone you treasure a massage or making a special meal together. Whatever it is in your life that makes your heart sing make time to do it. Embrace your joy; live and create even more joy with a grateful attitude.

Photo Credit Flickr LinnMar

Sometimes our lives become way laid by responsibilities and the challenges we face. For the last few days I have been dealing with personal challenges of my own. Which I will discuss further on a future date. For today I just want to say that this week has been a real reminder to me to always focus my life on what I love.

Fortunately for me I’ve found ways to do that. These days I focus my energies on my book, getting my new website up and ready to go, writing on this blog and learning how to live a simplier life near the beach again.

It isn’t easy and lately it has been damn hard and scary. But if I can take anything from this week that feels good it is the fact that I am doing what I love and I love the life I am creating for myself. I believe in what I’m doing, what I’m creating and that gives me so much joy and pleasure.

So for those of you out there, trying to figure out how to create the life you love, amid a job that stifles you, or a relationship that challenges you beyond what you ever dreamed, take heart. Take small steps; small steps lead down the same path of success I am walking, and small steps mean you are less likely to fall on your ass and make stupid mistakes. How do I know this? The voice of experience I can assure you…laughter.

There are times to take big leaps. I know I have made them. Accepting a job, sight unseen on the island of Guam. It was the BEST decision I ever made and I spent three amazing years there. Ditto for giving up a great job on Guam and heading for Hawaii. That one was dicey for a bit. I worked two jobs for a while until I found a full time job in my career field of the time…education. It did work, but it was rough for the first four months or so. That is why I say; take some small steps and get your balance and then when you feel really confident, leap into it.

It has always paid off for me. Doing what I love has brought me jobs where I found adventure, new friends, new cultures to explore and eye opening experiences that forever changed me. So this week while I face my own challenges I’m reminded that I’m leading the life I love. I take joy from what I do and what I believe in and besides family and relationships what could be better than that?