When we are living through life changes and challenges every last detail takes great energy. We long for peace, for quiet to close our eyes and just breathe deeply, or five quiet minutes to enjoy the solitude of a sunset, a song on the radio or a friends laughter. Don’t despair at the details, have faith in yourself that you have the strength to get through them. The details can irritate or madden you with their ridiculousness, especially when you’ve learned through pain the REALITY of what life is really about, that loving the ones in your life and making the most of each day is what is really worthwhile.

The details of every day living often seem like a pain in the ass. Yet when you do finish sorting through the stack of junk mail, close the statement of the last paid bill there is a sense of completion and a feeling of satisfaction that you accomplished one big task. Now your mind is free to have the peace you desire. Somehow leaving the stack undone, sitting there, is just a constant drain on your energy. The time you spend avoiding it, is sometimes worse than actually tackling it. I learned this long ago….laughter.

In my life this ESPECIALLY applies to junk mail. I am constantly bombarded by junk mail and I find it such a waste of time, energy and effort. In the beginning it was particularly hard to deal with the mail I received for my father who died. At the beginning just seeing those envelopes could set off a flood gate of tears. With time I have come to accept that it is a reality that must be faced by any survivor of loss. Over time, and with a great deal of tears I eventually removed my fathers name from many of the catalogs he received and purchased from. It was sad to make the calls, but the peace of mind I received when there were far fewer pieces of mail with his name in the mail box each week was a pay off for my emotional state of mind.

I’ve spent hours calling companies to get off their mailing lists, I have written to have my name removed from mailing lists that are sold. It has paid off, the junk mail is now a stream rather than an avalance! Yet I know when I’ve felt life was already too much to handle the burden of those small details seemed more than I could bear.

Take heart, with time life changes, challenges and grief do ease, even if only a fraction at the beginning. At first it will be too difficult and painful and too time consuming to make the calls to remove a loved one’s name from mailing lists, but eventually we each find the strength and fortitude it takes to make the calls and maybe a friend can step in and do it for you. Friends are more willing to help than we sometimes realize. Take it a step at a time and trust that with time and patience you will find the path to peace of mind and healing with your loss and the many many tasks required after a loved ones death.

With time one step becomes two and two eventually becomes five. You’ll begin to notice a few more good moments and good days and you’ll be able to get beyond the details and smile when the beauty of a sunset surrounds you, knowing you are loved, guided and treasured in the world. It just takes getting beyond the details to remember! Have a blessed day!