Butterflies
photo credit http://www.pdphoto.org

As a survivor of grief I know there are moments when I want to do something special to remember my loved ones. I often do something my mom or dad loved on the anniversary of their death; as a way of saying,” I love you, and you’re in my heart.”

I also try to do something special such as plant flowers mom loved on her birthday or Mother’s Day. Likewise on Father’s Day and or his birthday I do something to remember my dad. It might be something as simple as lighting a candle or visiting his grave, just something to feel especially close to him on a day when I’m missing him more than usual. In my mind it brings them each closer to me by creating that special moment to focus my love and rememberance on them.

As I spoke to my friend Myscha the other day we discussed a girl friend she knows, whose husband died. Her friend actually doesn’t like many calls from loved ones on the day he died. She likes to focus on other things and just take a short time to remember him on her own. I on the other hand like a chance to share my memories of my loved one on that day. Not hearing from anyone that day leaves me feeling as if maybe my father or mother is forgotten.

It was interesting to me to hear another perspective on this topic. Those of you who are yourselves survivors of grief, I would love to hear your comments on the topic. Do you want the calls and the chance to share memories or do you want the privacy to remember alone? Have a blessed week, I pray you’ll be touched by love and support in your life in the moments you most need it.

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