Sometimes we get so used to the serious nature of our lives that we forget to lighten up and just relax our attitude. I do this as much as the next person and according to some in my life I do it WAY too often! It isn’t as if only one person is telling me this. This is something I have heard many times, repeatedly, it’s just that I really don’t even know all the steps to make it different.
I have an awareness and I firmly believe that AWARENESS is the first key. I make a daily effort to meditate and that seems to really keep me in a calm state of mind, MOST OF THE TIME…life is not a perfect science, events and stress intervene for all of us. Meditation has done wonders for me, it allows me a sense of real peace, where I can feel a physical difference in the energy of my body. I used to be pretty high strung years ago and meditation mellowed that very well. So there is hope that I can find other ways to lighten up my serious nature….
The really funny part is that I used to be very light hearted, spontaneous and carefree… say until around age 33. Some time around then life hit me with some real challenges, the end of a deeply significant relationship, my mother getting cancer in 1997 and from there my life seemed to take on a direction of it’s own, filled with pain and loss and deep, unending grief. Just about the time I felt I was turning the corner on my grief over my mother and really living again (six yrs time) my dad was diagnosed with non hogkins lymphoma and died 12 days later.
Those events and the circumstance and responsibilities I was forced to assume after my dad’s death changed me deeply. So finding that fun loving, carefree side of myself comes generally only with travel adventures or escapes where I feel I can be my most relaxed. Learning to integrate it in daily life is more challenging for me these days…. at least according to those around me. I try to keep an awareness and also a reality check that those around me don’t always understand what I have faced or the effect it had on me, so I as I learn to lighten up a day at a time I keep my own council, knowing I know who I am and why I’m this way.
I’m learning to make changes a step at a time, from a place with a healed heart. That alone is a blessing and one not to be undervalued. My life wasn’t always good, in fact at some points the pain was so bad and the grief so numbing that death felt like the easier option. To reach this point, of joy and healing and blessings is incredible. It happened with small, slow steps, so gradually at times that I couldn’t even see some of the healing taking place. Only realizing it as my heart began to lift and my spirit began to heal and feel alive again. It is amazing and beautiful to have reached this point. I am deeply grateful to be at this point where I am now capable of helping others.
As such I try to keep a grateful attitude for the people and activities in my life while learning a step at a time to lighten up and see the world in a more spontaneous fashion. It’s a process…one day at a time… just like life. Blessings and love to each of you!